Some of you may not want to read this. I am not going to gloss on about euthanasia or offer up any gentle platitudes concerning it.
Annie-Annie. Or Annie as we normally called her, came as a stray puppy who was abandoned and lived off night crawlers and bugs. She followed Linda and Sherry home one day while they were walking the neighborhood. She was emaciated, and I didn’t think she would live a week then. I was not for keeping her, but the women persisted and so we slowly brought her weight up. She had a lot of problems with her knees and had surgery on all of them. I think it was because she was thrown out of a car. People do that down here. Drive out into the country, throw the dog out and drive off.
Like most labs, she was stoic and seldom complained. Watching her these last few days when you wonder if it is time or not was hard. She can rest ok but moving is painful and slow. We just could not let her continue to suffer and made the decision to call the vet and make that last trip. It is almost time to bring the car around and load her as I write this, and I swallow hard, press my lips, and force myself to do what needs to be done. We already received more time with her than we originally thought we would.
Thanks to Sanchia and her generous giftings of CBD oil which I am convinced gave us those precious months, but it is time.
It is something I never get used to. My other dog owning friends talk about euthanasia as something peaceful and even beatiful. But for me it is anything but peaceful or beautiful. The vet comes in, the vet assistant holds the dog, the vet sprays the site, inserts the needle, and the shot is given, then everyone tries to gently lay the dog down as it relaxes from the lethal compound. Her ears went up, the doc listened till the heart stopped, seconds later she weakly tried to howl twice in reflex, but didn’t have the strength, and once again the doc checked her eyes for reflex. She was gone. It was over in ten long seconds. I killed her.
Yeah, it was necessary. It was time. But it wasn’t easy, and I don’t think it is supposed to be easy. I don’t feel like I was there for her. I don’t think she crossed over any rainbow bridges into that beautiful dog park in the sky.
4:35 PM Wednesday, September 1, 2021, I killed my beloved dog. Humanely.