The Scrub Down

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We can only tell so many near death stories without bad luck catching up to us. I dodged that bullet that had my name on it again.

I originally wanted to describe an event that happened to me when entering the hospital.  I wish I were an artist and could paint the picture that is in my head because I can make the words describe that sublime moment of humiliation.  I manage tragedy with gallows humor, and that is very disconcerting to other people, so I save that sort of humor for a few people that I know can handle it. I have decided to break the tale down into short essays and see if I can return to the original story with a freshened view.  I really want to tell it, but it must be more polished before I post it.

It is not a very sanitary story, so if bodily processes and gore upset you, go no further.  You have been warned.

The Scrub Down

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I had been in the emergency room around three hours as doctors irrigated out blood clots from my bladder.  My body was shutting down when the ambulance brought me in.  I was not aware that I was in such serious trouble.  I just thought I was having the usual male curse of a swollen prostate.

Several doctors were standing around commenting on the huge clots.  You know you are in trouble when one of the doctors say, “Oh my God!” as each huge dollop of clotting exited into the plastic bag hanging off the edge of my gurney.  I was a star.  Everyone stopped by to see the fluid draining.  They had never seen that much clotting before.

But the release of the pressure was a blessed event, right up there with an epiphany as I laid there on the hard pad of the ER gurney.  The doctors were still busy figuring out how to restart the kidneys and fighting the arrythmia in my heart. It appears the treatment for the two problems were in opposition to each other, and they were doing a ballet dance of controlling medicines and reacting to lab results.  When I was stabilized some six hours later, they transferred me to their Level 1 Intensive Care where each patient had their own nurse, and the rooms were large enough to allow several medical specialties room to work on the patient at the same time.

Waiting around the bed were six nurses, each armed with an orange scrub brush mounted on the end of a short handle.  I was very unsanitary at that moment, and I was really humiliated at the body filth.  But this small squad of petite scrubbers did their work over every inch of my body with military-like efficiency.  When finished they all turned at the same time and exited single file from the room.  It felt good laying on the soft mattress and clean sheets, and I let my humiliation slowly bleed out. Modesty and dignity had to go into storage.

15 thoughts on “The Scrub Down

    Dana Everhart said:
    November 20, 2021 at 11:23 am

    I remember waking up to 8 nurses surrounding my bed before a test…I had passed out from being dehydrated because I wasn’t supposed to drink any fluids for 12 hours…what did they think would be the result of that??..glad you are healing~~~

    Liked by 1 person

      Rusty Armor responded:
      November 20, 2021 at 3:11 pm

      They have me down to 2 liters of fluid a day. I normally drink that much coffee!

      Like

    Anonymous said:
    November 20, 2021 at 2:26 pm

    An excellent look at the indignities we face when extremely ill. You know you are deep trouble whenever there is more than one medical professional surrounding you.

    Liked by 1 person

    Rivergirl said:
    November 20, 2021 at 3:17 pm

    Did this just happen? I’m so sorry! But yes, all personal space and dignity is usually surrendered at the hospital doors.

    Liked by 1 person

      Rusty Armor responded:
      November 20, 2021 at 3:25 pm

      With my usual lack of wisdom I had taken the malady a little too cavalierly months earlier. But the silver lining is I also received four heart stents that eliminated all my heart pain that I had carried around for decades.

      Liked by 1 person

        Rivergirl said:
        November 20, 2021 at 3:41 pm

        Damn! You really have been through it. My other half had one stent 20 years and felt worlds better afterward. Take care, and please know you are in my thoughts.
        ❤️

        Like

    The Hinoeuma said:
    November 21, 2021 at 2:34 am

    Good lord… What brought this on?

    Like

      Rusty Armor responded:
      November 21, 2021 at 11:24 am

      Mostly stupidity in treating what I thought was the usual adult male prostate malady.

      Like

        The Hinoeuma said:
        November 21, 2021 at 4:02 pm

        So, urinary tract infection that went septic? That’s sort of what it sounds like. I’ve had several UTIs in my lifetime and they will make you miserable.

        Like

    Anonymous said:
    November 22, 2021 at 5:52 am

    Good gawd, Rusty. There is nothing like emergency surgery and a stay in the ICU to rid a person of all modesty. I am so very happy to see you back among friends and on the road to recovery.

    Like

      Catherine said:
      November 22, 2021 at 5:54 am

      I have no idea why my comment posted as “anonymous” but it’s me, Catherine.

      Liked by 1 person

    Boo said:
    November 22, 2021 at 10:00 am

    I’m just glad you are here with us. Hugs you.

    Liked by 1 person

    Lia Storm said:
    November 23, 2021 at 9:02 am

    I was wondering where you were, but didn’t want to find out in case it was a worst case scenario because I have had enough of those this year. I am very happy to see you back and hopefully on the mend so you can be around for the next 20 years because you need 20 more to really convince me that you are a true curmudgeon 😉 . I know this was not fun for you, nor funny, but I had to laugh about the way you described the six nurses turning around and walking out single file. The picture in my mind made me laugh. Now that you are back, it is time for part two 🙂 ❤

    Liked by 1 person

      Rusty Armor responded:
      November 23, 2021 at 10:55 am

      I have an image of a Stanley Kubric film of the event. Dark grey walls, bed artfully lit in the center of the room, and a squad of blue clad nurses ready to do their duty … 😛

      Liked by 1 person

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