… and I still can’t walk on water!
It’s a quarter ‘til midnight, and I can’t sleep. Yet nothing is particularly troubling me tonight. Cars rumble by on their way home from town, and the soft thud of military ordinance drifts in from Fort Hood as the troops prepare for war. The thermostat is set back at night, so I have a small space heater for my feet and a large heating pad on my new $59 executive chair. The old $49 executive chair came apart like the shay in Oliver Wendell Holmes poem One-Hoss Shay, though it didn’t last a hundred years like the shay did.
I made up some bologna and cheese sandwiches earlier this week, and I am enjoying a half one along with a small glass of lemonade. I had to give up milk. It seems the high-powered antibiotics not only killed off the good gut bacteria, but also made me lactose intolerant. I have unsuccessfully searched for non-sweetened drinks, but other than some exotic teas, there just isn’t much out there.
I seldom write at night. I don’t like the tangents I go off on when I do. But tonight, the TV doesn’t interest me, and I don’t want to read. So here I sit in the gloom trying to find tidbits to talk about, and ways to make the tidbits interesting. I think I am going to fail that one.
Usually when this sort of urge to write falls on me, it is because I am wrestling with something or arguing with God. I am vexed with my weakness and unfinished chores keep piling up. I need to get propane for my weed burner and burn off a lot of deadwood collected in two burn piles. I need to clean up Bucephalus, my aging Dodge mommy van that has sat for two and a half years until my eyes got fixed. Maybe that is it … it is my winter of discontent. All I can seem to talk about is me. I don’t even have interest in the political and social trainwreck that is going on around me. GenZ’s are clamoring for more government. Churches are a mess of competing theologies. And I still can’t walk on water … so I can’t help them out of the morass.
Bits and pieces of an old short story I wrote some years back have returned to my mind, and I want to rewrite it. Don’t know why. SciFi and Fantasy shorts are dead venues. There are no Robert Heinleins, Harlan Ellisons, Arthur C. Clarkes, Frank Herberts, Isaac Asimovs or Ray Bradburys today. All that is left of their legacy is rewrites by screen writers. But like the old crank that I am, I crank on.
I am starting to take a little pride in my appearance again, though I never had a lot to begin with. And I am straightening up the studio. Each day I get a little bit stronger, and all that elevates me. It would be cool to be able to attend shul/church/assembly again, but I am not so sure Snookums is up to that now. We’ll see.
So with that, I think I’ll return to bed. But I can legitimately say Good Morning!
Rusty's Armory 
February 7, 2022 at 5:03 am
“All I can seem to talk about is me.” And what is wrong with that, pray tell? There is a lot to you and, personally, I think you have some stories worth the telling so, unless the subject matter is too intensely personal to share, why not tell them? And – good morning!
Now, about unsweetened drinks – are you able to tolerate artificial sweeteners? So far,sucralose, under a myriad brand names, is the best I’ve found. We used it a lot here, for just about everything including baking and keeping a ready supply of sweet tea or Kool-Aid. Just a thought.
I’ll just leave this plate of chocolate chip cookies on the table, along with some shortbread. Another “internet friend” gave me her aunt’s recipe way back when and it’s pretty darn good (if you like shortbread) and you can enjoy them later with a cup of Snookums’ perfect coffee.
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February 7, 2022 at 9:20 am
I eat my own weight in shortbread, so I receive that offering with pleasure. My love of coffee is slowly returning. Something about messing with my heart messes up my taste buds. Not sure what that is about.
I think it is the too sweet taste of artificial sweeteners, and maybe the “thinness” of the taste that stops me from using them. I sure do miss my glass of milk, and hope that the steady diet of probiotics restores it.
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February 7, 2022 at 6:17 am
Glad to hear your strength and energy are returning. I’m sure there will always be plenty of chores to keep you busy. I’m not a fan of unsweetened drinks in general because the fake sugar aftertaste is awful. But I do like Hint. It’s just fruit infused water, no artificial flavors, no sugar. The black cherry and green apple are my faves.
https://www.drinkhint.com/
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February 7, 2022 at 9:24 am
I started keeping Hint by my workstation and on my night stand a few months ago. But it still seems a little weak for meals. I like the watermelon, which is odd. I like my watermelon by the slice, not the sip. But in Hint, the taste isn’t overpowering. But since I buy the variety pack, I get all the flavors.
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February 7, 2022 at 12:54 pm
It’s not a powerful burst of flavor. I find the black cherry to be the strongest.
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February 7, 2022 at 7:04 am
circle of life is an odd term to me when thinking singularly…grandkids are enlightening but I see little future for them…enjoy what is now
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February 7, 2022 at 7:05 am
I guess being in FB jail again it won’t let me even link it….Dana
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February 7, 2022 at 9:32 am
I probably use the term circle of life a little too casually. But the evidence of God has been overwhelming for me. Some people don’t get that evidence and I have no answer that would make sense to them. I respect the agnostic portion of atheism, but reject the certainty of that position. Scientific thought cannot resolve every paradigm, and the mere absence of something is not proof that it doesn’t exist.
But you are right. Each day is a day that is lived for that day. That day will not come around again.
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February 10, 2022 at 9:27 am
Back in the day when I wrote and wrote and wrote, I would sometimes wake up in the middle of the night with thoughts and I would get up and write and go back to bed. I did some of my best writing then and also some of my worst, but I wrote. So write when that urge hits you and we all will read and we will enjoy it more than you think we will. Don’t judge your own writing , let the readers be the judge and I think most if not all of your readers love your writing even when you think it is mundane! Oh and write that book. Don’t think about how long you have and that you might not finish it. I bet you will finish it with time to spare. We don’t know that day or the hour so live each day and move into the next and keep writing !!! 💖
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February 10, 2022 at 9:28 am
PS: I actually wrote today. Nothing earth shattering mind you, but I wrote. Yay!!!
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February 10, 2022 at 11:35 am
😀 Glad to hear that!
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February 12, 2022 at 9:50 pm
Do you like yogurt? If so, try to find So Delicious brand of coconut milk yogurt. It will give you good bacteria for your gut without the milk. Probiotic capsules will help, too.
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February 13, 2022 at 9:06 am
I did find it at our local chain, and ordered it for the next delivery. TY
I have been taking some “super” pro-biotic caps that are to have double the good bacteria in them, and noticed some good results.
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February 13, 2022 at 11:59 am
Awesome. I hope you feel better.
I rarely have anything to do with milk. Pasteurization essentially makes it a dead product and distorts the proteins. Lactose intolerance is actually cover for the industry. The sugar in milk doesn’t upset peoples’ bodies. Dead proteins do…and, wharped molecules. This is not the same as lightly warming milk at bedtime. Pasteurization just kills all the benefits.
If you can find some, get your hands on some raw milk. Not all states ban it. You’ll be surprised.
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February 13, 2022 at 9:38 pm
Another good thing for beneficial bacteria is kraut…fermented cabbage. I love Bavarian kraut with Caraway seeds. Then, there is Kombucha, fermented tea. Pickled ginger could help, too.
Sorry. Just remembered this stuff.
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February 14, 2022 at 9:20 am
Yeah. I usually get a local brand here made in the German communities and eat a mess of it at bedtime … don’t know why it is, but sour and acidic foods are gentle on the stomach …
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February 15, 2022 at 11:26 am
Well, properly soured foods have beneficial bacteria. With acidic foods, I’m not sure of the mechanism of assistance, there. Adds additional acid to the natural stomach acid? IDK.
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