A Letter to the Young Man I Was

Posted on December 28, 2025

A Letter to the Young Man I Was

To the young man in the camp, the garrison, and the halls:

I see you standing there, listening to the older men. You are absorbing their “crude” myths like they are gospel. You believe their stories about “widow women” and their “gifts.” You think their “outward respectability” is the measure of a man. You are learning a map of the world that tells you women are emotional, not practical—that they are a different species to be protected, used, or managed, but rarely understood.

I need you to know that the map you are holding is a lie.

It was drawn by men who were as lost as you are. Their “protection” was often just a mask for predation, and their “jokes” were a shield against the hopelessness in the eyes of the women they claimed to serve. You will one day see that hopelessness clearly, and it will trouble you. Hold onto that trouble. It is the only honest thing you have.

You will live to see the “correction”—a time when the world tries to balance the scales. You will see young men “devastated” for simple acts of kindness because they are carrying the bill for the sins of your generation. You will be tempted to meet that wrath with your own. You will think the world is ending.

It isn’t. Not yet.

It is just the vanity of mankind turning in its sleep. You will learn that no political movement, no social decree, and no “all-male” code can fix the brokenness of the human heart. You will realize that you are not God, and you will finally—thankfully—resign from the job of trying to be Him.

Here is the instruction you haven’t received yet:

The “good man” isn’t the one with the loudest voice or the cleanest public record. He is the man who learns to walk humbly, knowing he will fail. He is the man who finds his “portion” in the small, quiet things.

When you finally meet the woman you love, don’t see her through the lens of those old myths. Don’t see her as a mystery to be solved or a duty to be accommodated. See her as your partner in the “toil” under the sun. Enjoy your life with her. That is your grace. That is your repair.

You will make tragic, humbling mistakes. Don’t hide from them. They are the Author’s way of teaching you who He is, and who you are not.

Walk justly. Love mercy. And for heaven’s sake, stop trying to make the map. Just keep wandering until you find the path of peace.

With a heavy, but hopeful heart,

The Elder you will become.