Midnight oil night tonight.
An almost forgotten voice from ages long past says “I’m sorry”.
I looked at her lined face, once youthful and vital, but now stripped of emotion by years heavy boozing and drugging. I didn’t have the courage to stay at that time, and she didn’t have the courage to leave. But today, she was just an unfamiliar face and an unfamiliar voice. I could have passed her on the sidewalk and not recognized her.
I am sure it was sincere apology she offered. However, she was clueless as to the real damage she had done. Some broken things can’t be mended and I moved on, alone, bereft of family and friends to a nameless city, and waited to die.
But as so often happens, the spark within me just didn’t lay down, and after a long winter, the summer came. I found love, religion and purpose again.
So I said to her, “Go in peace, I forgive you”. But it was devoid of any real sincerity. I just wanted to let her off the hook so that she could leave. I don’t think she wanted to hear the go part of the comment, however, but I could not let her stay.
I was shocked at my callousness, and the sight of her walking away, tired and broken, haunts me.