Picking at Scabs
It happened just as I knew it would. “Rusty?” the words on messenger popped up.
A thousand emotions rose up and subsided in me, and I clasped my hands tightly to keep from responding. It was written on an old inactive account that I had forgotten about, but hadn’t unlinked from.
My mind replayed that time when my two dearest of friend’s feet turned to clay on the very same day, and I was left to founder on my own for two years. It was a very hard lesson that I had thought I learned years ago about friendships and one way streets.
Yeah, I did finally recover, losing two precious years of what should have been some of the best of years. I told none of my online friends or family, and fought that one out alone. Those are the hardest of victories, but the more solid of them. In the end, we all walk that last mile alone, no matter how many are gathered around us, anyway. So too with affaires de coeur.
But there will be no second chances here. Casual chit-chat, maybe. But never again the deep conversations of the soul. Spiritually, I have moved on from those bleak days anyway, and I have no interest in other things than those marked out ahead of me.
So I softly closed the window, deactivated the account, and left the query unanswered.
So why is the wound still bleeding?
3 thoughts on “Picking at Scabs”
April 25, 2016 at 8:27 pm
“So why is the wound still bleeding?” I was not there but the first thing that came to me in answer to your ? was closure and forgiveness. i have and still am walking my trials and tribulations alone. I thank God for His Wisdom that through it all He is making more into His likeness, purpose and calling . I guess this explaine best my relationship with The Almighty God which He has shown me that He is THE I AM. Psa 70:4 Let all those that seek thee rejoice and be glad in thee: and let such as love thy salvation say continually, Let God be magnified.
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April 25, 2016 at 8:37 pm
DID NOT MEAN TO GO Anonymous. THIS IS Joyce Weed. also in the sentence “He is making” i left out the word “me” the content makes more sense when u read it with the missing word “me”
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April 25, 2016 at 9:21 pm
I knew the connection 😉