The Devil’s inside the can …

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One treat I liked as a kid was deviled ham sandwiches. I suspect that it must have been inexpensive since we didn’t by expensive meats back then. But it was salty and hammy, and the little strings of  desiccated ham got caught between your teeth and could only be removed with a toothpick and much sucking of the teeth.  It was wonderful stuff.

But since I got religion, I don’t eat no ham, but I haven’t forgotten the taste. Bacon. Spiral cut, sugar cured ham.  Ham bones in beans.   I do miss it from time to time.  Or I think I do, since I don’t eat it.  So in looking for high protein/low carb snacks, I came across chicken deviled something-the-other.  They said chicken on the can, so I bought a can and hid it in the pantry.  I am surprised Snookums didn’t tell me I had to eat it outside since she keeps a pretty close eye on the larder and it is hard to hide stuff like that from her.  She doesn’t approve this kind of gourmet.  The woman doesn’t know what’s good.

Today I got carried away with breakfast, and served up a working man’s breakfast of runny eggs a-la bell peppers, hash-browns with onions, and turkey sausage links.  It wasn’t bad, but we were still full when dinner rolled around and so a every working-man for himself day was declared.  We do that ever so often when we find a good excuse to not prepare dinner.  I don’t know what the upper limit is on those declarations would be, but we have never reached that high bar in spite of several each month.

So later, I got to thinking about that can in the pantry when my stomach started making suggestions.  Yeah.  That would be a gourmet supper for one!  Spread on saltines paired with Château Diet Squirt, I sat back in my brand new $59 executive chair to enjoy this latest discovery in modern food technology.

Bleah! What some nasty carp that was!  Grainy with some chunks hidden in a porridge looking matrix of mystery food, using the term food in its loosest sense.  But my loyal dining companions ‘Becca da Beagle and her brother Tic were watching, and so I scrapped the grainy goo into their waiting maws until it was all gone. They seemed to like the stuff, but you can never taken my mutts assessment of food seriously.  I have see what they will eat.

I saw an internet meme that went “I was hungry and looked in the cupboard for some food, and there was only ingredients.”.  That’s me.   When I go foraging on an every man for himself day, I want to open something and eat it.   I don’t want to fry, mix, toast, cut, spread or plate anything.  Just eat it.  A spoon or fork is as far as I want to mess with it.

So I have been trying to stock stuff I can just eat, yet will last awhile just sitting in the pantry.  The do make vienna sausages out of chicken that are bad.  

Please stop with the clucking …. some day I’ll sneek a peek into YOUR cupboard … 

Libby's Vienna Sausage in Chicken Broth, 4.6 Ounce, Pack of 24They are about two for a dollar, and they kind of work, but I need more variety.  And I have to really watch the label.  My once favorite brand on close examinatons said it also contained pork and other meats beside chicken.

But down here we also get a lot of food from Mexico and I found a brand with just chicken.  I can trust the Mexicans, right?

Yogurt works.  But you have to use it up.   Ice cream bars, but expensive.  String cheese, but not very filling.  Bakery goods give me heartburn so raiding the cookie jar in the evening is out.

I dunno. There has to be something that isn’t loaded with sugar that you can eat without dragging every damned put out of the cupboard just too cook it  …  

10 thoughts on “The Devil’s inside the can …

    Lia Storm said:
    February 2, 2020 at 7:49 am

    I am laughing about that chicken mess. I bought some canned chicken once and it was so nasty I gave it to CAT and CAT would not eat it. Yes, you do have to watch the ingredients in stuff no matter what the label. My daughter and son in law are Torah observant (not Jewish though) and I saw this smoked sausage that said Turkey sausage. Luckily I read the label and it had pork and chicken in it too. How is that TURKEY??


      Rusty Armor responded:
      February 2, 2020 at 8:04 am

      It was kind of a shocker for me. I have found so many products like that.

      Liked by 1 person

    Rivergirl said:
    February 2, 2020 at 8:23 am

    Men and their cans. What is it with you as a species? Baked beans are the go to husband prepared meal in this house. I don’t like them, but keep the pantry stocked for him.


      Rusty Armor responded:
      February 2, 2020 at 8:30 am

      I used to keep those little cans of beany-weenies around years ago but they are not so kosher.

      Liked by 1 person

    thehuntress915 said:
    February 2, 2020 at 10:14 am

    I love Deviled Ham, and buy those little cans by the cart full (sorry Rusty). But I feel you about canned chicken, there isn’t one brand I’ve found that I can honestly say I like.

    Liked by 1 person

      Rusty Armor responded:
      February 2, 2020 at 11:19 am

      I guess a religion that doesn’t have sacrifice in it isn’t much of a religion. I sure do miss the ham taste, though. I once had pueblo style green chili made with turkey ham and hatch roated chiles, and almost wept. It wasn’t the same.

      Liked by 1 person

    Rusty Armor responded:
    February 2, 2020 at 10:41 am

    Oh man! Dyslexia ruled when I wrote this. Precisely why I should set a post aside and edit it 24 hours later!


      Lia Storm said:
      February 2, 2020 at 6:21 pm

      I didn’t notice a thing wrong or out of place or backwards or whatever. Either I am stupid or you are too hard on yourself ❤


        Rusty Armor responded:
        February 2, 2020 at 8:41 pm

        There are a few granny matikals in there …


        Lia Storm said:
        February 3, 2020 at 8:05 am

        Maybe that is why I didn’t notice lol. My grammar is really bad when I write, and when I talk, and when I think 😉 It’s a form of rebellion from when I was in Catholic school as a child and the nuns would break your knuckles with that pointer stick if you used bad grammar (a bit of an exaggeration of course).


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