Another Update
Well, I am now walking over another bridge I was going to wait to cross until I came to it. I am officially on palliative care now. Drugs and happy pills are ordered, but I can take them or not, and I am still being actively treated for heart, kidney and lung damage, so it isn’t like giving up entirely.
Or so I optimistically try to believe.
We are all born, we breed, we die … that is the world we inherited from our ancestor Adam. So I approach my octogenarian-hood this month greatly conflicted.
“Mann Tracht, Un Gott Lacht” is an old Yiddish adage meaning, “Man Plans, and God Laughs.” It was my plan to go before Snookums. I was ready. But since the stroke happened, she needs me here, and so I now ask God for more time. I don’t want her burdened with that responsibility.
Snooks has probably reached the plateau of her recovery, and any further healing will be in micro-millimeters and not miles. Her short-term memory has not improved much, and fatigue and stress only make it worse. Yesterday I awoke and saw the bathroom light was on, which isn’t unusual. She generally awakens a few minutes before I do. But she was in there a long time and I saw her go in and leave several times. That should have been my first clue, but I wasn’t totally awake yet.
The toilet had overflowed, and she was trying to handle the mess. The harder she tried, the more ineffective she became. I finally realized she was over stressed and sprang out of bed and took care of the stoppage while she cleaned up the flooding. She then took a nap.
If you know Snooks, you know she isn’t a napper. It was serious stuff happening. But finally, the mess was taken care of, and we had our morning coffee and cake. I noticed her right eye was sagging and asked my niece to keep an eye on her while I went to the palliative care interview. She did take another nap and skipped lunch, even after my niece offered to fix a sandwich. Today, that eye is still drooping, and she is still a bit pallid. I am hoping that a day of rest will get her back in condition.
I really need to become more proactive …
So the new day dawns. No crises, just a weak January sun peeking through the blinds. I sip my coffee, chat with Snookums, check my emails on the Chromebook, medicate myself, and ponder this new change in life. I am ready for a new adventure, to quote Bilbo Baggins …
Rusty's Armory 
January 5, 2023 at 12:28 pm
Octogenarian this month, huh? That means you were born in 1943?
What damaged your lungs? I am assuming that heart & kidney damage is diabetes?
So sorry for your wife…
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January 5, 2023 at 12:34 pm
I think the heart disease was genetic. I am thinking a Sepsis infection also caused the kidneys to fail, along with the overuse of Ibuprofen. The type II diabetes seems to be a family malady too .. the lungs is more a condition of the heart, actually, but pulmonary meds do seem to alleviate the shortness of breath …
Yes. My father returned from a stint in Burma during WWII to attend Officer Candidate School before returning, and that is when I happened …
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January 5, 2023 at 1:08 pm
My significant other/Fleet Navy/Vietnam Seabee/Retired Cop will be 80 on March 1. He is a tough bastard. The only trouble he has is big, flat feet with distorted toes (always shoved into smaller shoes) and multiple ankle sprains. He has great difficulty walking these days. He doesn’t like the idea of using a cane but, has to. If he doesn’t continue to move, he will be in a wheelchair. I keep joking with him about having his feet cut off and getting blades. 😄
Heart disease and diabetes runs through my paternal side. There isn’t any diabetes on my maternal side. I have an arrhythmia, given to me by an antidepressant from years ago but, magnesium supplements keep it in check.
Happy soon birthday…🎂🎁🎉
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January 5, 2023 at 1:16 pm
“I keep joking with him about having his feet cut off and getting blades.”
We talked about a mobility scooter … that has its own charm. I will be able to take it straight down the middle of the grocery aisle, and scowl at anyone who blocks me or gets impatient with me … and going through the middle lane of the store parking lot … Oh! The possibilities!!
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January 5, 2023 at 6:51 pm
The fun you could have…
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January 5, 2023 at 1:04 pm
My husband is right behind you, born in ‘47. Post war boom for sure.
The bridge you speak of is one we all will cross. I hope the palliative care brings you some relief from discomfort.
❣️
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January 5, 2023 at 1:12 pm
I wish I could hug you.
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January 5, 2023 at 1:17 pm
I tend to make it sound worse than it is, but I am always open to hugs …
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January 5, 2023 at 3:34 pm
❤️ <——that is all I can say right now
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January 6, 2023 at 6:29 pm
I was just reading the comments here. What? A mobility scooter?? We still haven’t ridden Segway’s together LOL (not sure you even remember that conversation)
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January 6, 2023 at 7:33 pm
I do remember that one! 🙂
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January 8, 2023 at 8:42 am
Did you say happy pills? 🙂
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January 8, 2023 at 11:58 am
Yeah … one pill to make me happy, another to make me pain free. Yet another to make me sleep. And another to make me poop. It never stops …
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January 8, 2023 at 2:10 pm
Yeah, some sort of Ritalin like drug and morphine like pain killer. I didnt know I was in so much pain until I took the morphine so the trick now is to not take so much that I cant drive or hold a conversation
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