Snookums has made the rounds of specialists now, and all we can do now is wait. She still is improving day by day, but there will be a three-year hole in her memory, and her short-term memory is still a problem. The mind is a mysterious and complex thing, and I don’t know how those who study it can conclude there is no such thing as intelligent design. I don’t know how many coincidences it took for brain development in intelligent animals, but I am convinced that it is statistically improbable for it to be an accident.
Regardless, the damage has ceased and the long road to recovery has begun. We are having wonderful conversations on aging and death with our coffee. It sounds like morbid talk to outsiders, but for us it is preparation. We shan’t escape death, at least in this age. On the other side of it, there is hope, if not actual belief.
She is still wondering why this had to happen to her, and I don’t tell her how relieved I am that she is asking why. It tells me she understands her predicament, and we can start moving on to face this challenging part of life. It is a path we can’t share with others, and at the end, it is a path we can’t share with each other. Oddly, we are at peace with that.
I am thinking this will be the last of the updates, though I will comment on her recovery from time to time in my other postings. We move forward by millimeters instead of miles, now. Each day is a day that we are called to activity. The future doesn’t exist. The past doesn’t matter. And that is enough.
I used to spend time chronicling the excesses of politics, but now I don’t want to talk about it. The bell has struck. The door has slammed shut. What will be, will be. I can’t stop it. I can’t change it. But know this, it isn’t going to be good.
So on this autumn morning with a weak sun shining out my window, I turn my thoughts to more pleasant things. My own little selfish world.
I have a new PC sitting in a box that I need to install, but it doesn’t seem to be a proper activity on the Shabbat. I am excited about it, though. It is powerful enough to do all the things I wish. I sit here and imagine how I am going to arrange things.
However, for today I muse. I write. I pray. I read.