Monday dawns wet and rainy as I sit down to my new PC and bang out an original blog entry. It starts by putting something down and seeing what happens. Sometimes I get diamonds, and sometimes I get rust. I never know until I post it.
I am decompressing now from the latest emergencies and things are starting to fall into their natural order again, although my life has changed greatly. Exercise becomes a staple in my morning routine, albeit partly cloudy skies prevented me from venturing out to the rehab unit this morning. And when I am done with them, my insurance company pays for my membership in planet fitness.
I can hardly contain my joy.
So much has changed, and so much remains the same. Gone are the mornings that I grabbed a cup of coffee and padded down the long hallway to my studio. Now I start the coffee (usually), weigh myself, sit down at the kitchen table and prick my finger for my insatiable glucose monitor, take my blood pressure, oxygen levels and temperature, fill my syringe and stab myself in the belly.
All this gets dutifully noted in a spreadsheet to make the visiting nurse happy
Then I get to do vitals on Snookums, less the glucose and stabbing.
A little small talk, some raisin bread toast, more coffee, some coffeecake, and an unbelievable assortment of medications finishes that ritual, THEN I can pad down to my studio to do studio things. Like blogging, musing, and napping.
I am so off of politics, and that used to make up half my posts. I don’t know what I want to make the theme of my morning posts on. I spend a lot of time pondering the nature of God these days, and He does reveal much if you ask.
I spent much of my young adult life learning of God and how to obey Him and discovered that I simply was not up to the task of obedience. It just isn’t in my nature. So, these days I simply want to know his mind.
I think back to a time when I was on a number of self-improvement attempts, but that life was always six inches beyond my grasp. After a time, I quit reaching, and spent more time musing on my predicament. I finally concluded that it simply wasn’t in me and never was going to be me. I had reached my limit.
Oddly, that was a comforting conclusion. Like a child watches his father, I began watching God and often I imitated what I saw and childlike mimicking what I saw. I didn’t always get it right, and often did foolish things, but as I matured, I became more like him.
Don’t get me wrong. I am light years from seeing God and doing what he does. But from my new perspective, things became clearer, and I could just ignore obscure passages in scripture until revelation came.
There is a wisdom that come with age, sometimes. And sometimes age brings even greater folly. I continue to have both experiences, but over time, my actions have improved in such an easier way than trying to bulldoze my way into it.
And so the new dawn changes into a late morning. When I post this, I can get on with getting this brand new whiz bang computer up to speed. This is my first post on it, and I am happy with the speed that it has. I can hardly wait until I get my new games installed.
So while my world outside is drippy and wet, I sit in the warmth of central heat and say good morning!